Saturday, December 25, 2010

Madeline's first Christmas

Dear friends,

Last night I had the most wonderful dream. After we prayed for Madeline and went to bed I dreamt that Madeline’s vent tube was loose and that she had pulled it out. But it took the nurses some time to notice and when they finally did come in and realize what she had done they also realized that she no longer needed the vent. Then they did an echo and realized that her heart had gotten better and they did not know what to do.

It was one of those real dreams where I felt all the emotions of seeing my daughter better. I saw every step in her recovery as we met with cardiologist who could only shake their heads in disbelief of what had happened. I met all the doctors and nurses who came to see the miracle baby and watched their wonderment as Madeline engaged them with her beautiful eyes.

I wasn’t sure if it was just a crazy dream from all the sweets I had that night or if it was a vision from God of what was to come. Either way I kept waking up and praising God and thanking Him for those precious moments that I had to hold my daughter and see her well and getting ready to go home. I told God that even if He were to take Madeline that day, I was thankful for the dream.

Christmas morning came, and with it came insane abundance. Thank you all for your gifts and generosity towards my family during this season. We opened more presents than I have ever seen at once. My girls had a never ending pile of stuff to open, you are truly a rich and generous people. We had so much fun with the business of it all, but in the back of my head I knew something was going to happen today.

Then came the phone call from the hospital. Lisa answered, and a nurse explained to her that Madeline was not breathing well and in respiratory distress. She said they were going to try her on a different kind of breathing machine to buy us some time to get to the hospital and that we should hurry. I was downs in the basement with Macy when everyone began to yell for me. I grabbed my keys and phone and off we went.

I kept the accelerator close to the floorboard as we raced for the hospital, for the first time I felt like the time had come to say goodbye to my daughter and I didn’t want to miss it. Thank you all who got the message and prayed for us, I felt God’s Holy Spirit with us the whole way calming and comforting me. In pajamas we ran across the hospital to the elevator, up to the 4th floor, and down the hallway to Madeline’s room.

There were all the doctors there outside her room, and as they saw us approaching they motioned with their hands for us to calm down and that everything was under control. We came into a crowded room to see Madeline lying still with everyone standing back, arms crossed and watching her every move. They had just given her a drug to paralyze her and her sats were beginning to return to normal.

So what happened? Only the Lord knows. According to her nurse Cody, she was fine one moment and then she began to gasp for air like she couldn’t breath. She didn’t get worked up like other times, she just started gasping and her sats dropped. They turned up her air and her sats continued to drop so they turned up her air more. They had the vent settings all the way to 80, and still it was not bringing her back. She just kept fighting the vent.

That’s when they decided to paralyze her. This prevented her lungs from doing anything on their own and she was dependent on the ventilator to do the breathing for her. She came back nicely. Then we had to sit and wait and see what would happen when the paralytic drug wore off. Would she keep fighting the vent, or would she be fine.

About 90 minutes after we got there to drug began to wear off. Lisa and I comforted her and she hit some bumps along the way, she pooped, got a new diaper, and then dozed off to a deep sleep. They did and EKG and a battery of other tests and have so far come up empty handed. I wonder if this is our Christmas Miracle? I knew that if the holes in her heart closed, she would hit some pretty serious bumps along the way if she were to make it.

It was an exciting experience, a scary one, yet we could feel God comforting us and walking us through this. Seems like Madeline’s days are not over yet and I can’t wait until Tuesday’s echo to see what inside her has changed. Please keep praying for Madeline. She already is our Miracle for all the lives she’s touched near and far. Continue to pray for God to work in her life to His Glory.

Please see this video of Madeline this afternoon as she awoke from her slumber to become her normal happy self on Christmas day, what a miracle!

Shanker & Lisa.

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